How to Reframe the "Selling Feels Icky" Mindset
For many coaches, experts, and service-based entrepreneurs, the act of selling can feel downright uncomfortable. You’re in this business because you love what you do. You’re passionate about making an impact and helping people, but when it comes time to pitch your services or ask for the sale? The "ick" factor kicks in.
If you’ve ever thought, "Selling feels icky to me, so I just don’t do it," you’re definitely not alone. The good news is that you don’t have to stay stuck in this mindset. In fact, reframing your perspective on selling can completely transform your approach—and your results. Let’s dive into why selling feels uncomfortable and how you can shift your thinking so that selling becomes a natural, empowering, and even enjoyable part of your business.
Why Selling Feels "Icky" in the First Place
First, let’s unpack why selling might feel awkward or inauthentic to you. Here are a few common reasons:
1. Fear of Being Pushy or Salesy
Many of us have had bad experiences with aggressive sales tactics. From the relentless telemarketer to the pushy car salesman, these negative encounters leave a lasting impression. As a coach or expert, you might fear coming across in the same way, which leads to hesitation when it’s time to promote your services.
2. Money Mindset Issues
For many service providers, the subject of money can bring up feelings of guilt or discomfort. You might feel conflicted about charging people for something you're so passionate about, especially if you see it as helping others. This can lead to underpricing or avoiding sales conversations altogether.
3. Misunderstanding the Role of Selling
There’s often a misconception that selling is something you do to someone, rather than for someone. This perspective frames selling as a manipulative act, which naturally feels "icky" to anyone with a strong sense of ethics and service.
The Cost of Avoiding Selling
Now, before we jump into how to reframe your mindset, let’s be real for a moment about the consequences of not selling. By avoiding sales, you’re not just leaving money on the table—you’re also denying your potential clients the transformation they need and deserve. Think about it: someone out there is struggling, and you have the solution to help them. When you don’t sell, they stay stuck in their pain.
Moreover, your business can’t sustain itself without sales. No sales = no business. Even if you’ve attracted tons of leads through ads or referrals, if you don’t convert those leads into paying clients, you’ll eventually burn out. You might even begin resenting the very work you once loved because the financial stress starts creeping in.
Reframing: Selling Is Serving
It’s time to reframe selling. Instead of seeing it as something manipulative, try to see it as serving. Here’s how:
1. You're Offering Solutions, Not Just Selling
Rather than focusing on "closing the deal," shift your attention to the value you’re providing. You’re not asking people for money—you’re offering them a solution to a problem they’ve been struggling with. Think about the transformations you’ve helped create in the past. Didn’t those clients feel grateful that you offered your services? You didn’t "sell" to them; you helped them get from point A to point B.
Reframe Thought:
"I’m not here to take something from them. I’m offering them the opportunity to change their lives."
2. You're Helping Them Make a Commitment
When people pay for something, they commit to it. Free advice often goes unimplemented, but when someone makes an investment in themselves by paying for your services, they’re far more likely to take action. You’re not just selling your time—you’re helping them commit to their own growth or transformation.
Reframe Thought:
"I’m helping them take the next big step toward their goals by making this investment."
3. Selling Creates Win-Win Outcomes
Think of the sale as a mutually beneficial exchange. You’re providing value through your expertise, and in return, your client compensates you for that value. When this exchange is balanced, both parties win. You get to continue doing the work you love, and they get the solutions they need.
Reframe Thought:
"This is an equal exchange of value—I’m giving them my expertise, and they’re compensating me fairly for it."
4. Focus on the Transformation, Not the Transaction
When you focus solely on the transaction, the conversation can feel transactional (and awkward). Instead, concentrate on the transformation your client will experience. What pain are they currently feeling? How will your services relieve that pain? What changes will they see in their life or business as a result of working with you?
Reframe Thought:
"The transformation I offer is worth far more than the price they’re paying."
How to Sell Authentically and Confidently
Now that we’ve reframed the idea of selling, let’s talk about how you can approach sales in a way that feels natural and aligned with who you are.
1. Be Transparent and Honest
One of the best ways to overcome the fear of being "salesy" is to be completely transparent. Be upfront about the results you can provide, the investment required, and what the client can expect. Clients appreciate honesty, and it helps build trust.
2. Lead with Value
Instead of immediately jumping into the sale, lead with value. Share helpful insights, give a taste of your expertise, or offer a free resource that demonstrates the value you bring. When people see that you genuinely care about helping them, the sales conversation will feel more like a natural progression than a forced pitch.
3. Ask Permission
Rather than launching into a sales pitch, ask if they’re open to hearing more about how you can help. A simple, "Would it be helpful if I shared how I could support you?" puts the control in their hands, making the conversation feel collaborative, not pushy.
4. Practice Makes Perfect
The more you sell, the more comfortable it becomes. Practice talking about your services in a way that feels authentic to you. The more you do it, the more natural it will feel.
Practical Steps to Embrace Selling
Write down your reframed thoughts about selling and keep them visible during sales conversations.
Create a checklist of the transformations you’ve helped clients achieve to remind yourself of the value you provide.
Set small sales goals to build confidence. Even selling one service per week can help you break through the mindset barrier.
Get feedback from peers or mentors on your sales approach. Sometimes, a fresh set of eyes can offer valuable insights.
Reframing your perspective on selling can be a game-changer for your business. Remember, selling isn’t about pushing a product or service on someone—it’s about offering value, creating transformations, and making a genuine difference in people’s lives. The next time you find yourself thinking "selling feels icky," pause and remind yourself that selling is serving. You’re not just selling a service—you’re providing someone with the opportunity to transform their life or business.
Go out there, serve with confidence, and watch how the right clients say "yes" to the value you bring!
